Count Down

So we're counting down...
The offer's been made, looks like it'll be accepted even, and then I'll be hanging up my mightier-than-the-sword pen and picking up a hairnet and plastic gloves...and not even the interesting kind of plastic gloves. LOL

So I'm going to say goodbye to my almond trees and my fallen-down house on the hill and my old dreams (as well as a few disappointments and broken promises, just a little reality check for this little nostalgia trip) and start fresh.
Ocean fresh...like the CleanSeas tuna I'll be living a few waves away from eh?

I'll be able to grow frangipani, but probably not tulips.
The kids will see their Dad, but I won't have to.
I'll meet lots of new people - although they'll only talk to me long enough to get their hot chips or ice creams or road maps.

You know what I worry about - it's silly I know - but the things that make me amazing - my writing, my ability to talk about anything (even if it's all crap), my art, my music, my ideas - they're not actually going to be showcased in a shop are they?
So what kind of new friends am I going to make?
Who is going to find me interesting when I'm just a face above an apron?

But then, maybe it's the opportunity to stop writing news, and start writing novels?
Do it for love and fun, not for a wage.

I pulled the Death Card today.
And the nine of pentacles.
The conclusion of one stage of life, and a new security gained for myself.

It's nice to have a new direction, it's just a bit sad to let go of the old one.
My kids will love their new school and I will love being near beaches again and my family.
And, let's face it, I'm ready to throw away the teaching plans and look at something that suits me better (and is tax deductible) like tourism.

I love the idea of being with kids, but, after reading my course outline, I struggle with all the steps to getting there.
All the 'stages of development' and 'mandatory reporting' - I just like to read to kids, and talk about bilbies, and play playdoh, and teach them to cook, and glue sparkly things on paper - and those things don't come in a recognised course, sadly (The Six Essential Stages of Foil & Glitter Collage).

My friend Vanity is reading this right now and feeling very smug...I'll let that go this time. LOL My answer is, I tried to find a 'sensible' solution for my future, but 'sensible' doesn't always cut it with me.

I have a friend who finished her teaching degree, walked into her new classroom on the first day, left at lunchtime and never came back.
That image sticks in my mind some days when I'm waiting for my course books to arrive.
On the other hand, I have a wonderful teacher brother - who just happens to be teaching the 'it's not like that' witch's kids at the moment.
So I know it can be great too.

If we get the business, the house isn't anything special, but it's tidy and just the right size and there's a garden I can make my own and an outdoor area I can personalise.
The Kids will have their own rooms (and half a chance to keep them clean) and I'll have the chance to get rid of everything in my life that I don't specifically love or need.
I'll be settled so I can go back to growing my own herbs and vegies and have an oven to cook real meals in again.

Mum and Dad and I are halfway through a business plan already - despite all three of us coming from such different directions and making each other crazy with all the double-talk - and that part's exciting because I love the mechanics of business, and I've learned so much from the newspaper that I want to put into practice.

The Kids and I are still on hold here.
"Don't put in any plants, don't start any projects, don't unpack too much"...it'll be nice to be settled again for a while.

The Kids can join sport and music and dancing, I can study and occasionally have a child-free weekend or afternoon (love them as I do, that would be nice too) although it's not being child-free but being adult-with that's the issue.
I miss my friends. I miss being important to someone else's fun.

There might even be dancing down there for me, I know there's a singing group, or maybe I'll pull out my paints and pastels again - that's what people do at the beach (at least when it's too cold to swim) eh?
Maybe I'll sell the finished products to gullible tourists in the shop - LOL.

So many good things - I've always been lucky that way.
I've always had so many good things in my life.
I guess, when I finally have my big yard sale before I move - hopefully I'll get rid of a whole lot of baggage with the boxes.
Fingers crossed.

Funny how I smile most of the time now, how I don't dread real life any more, don't flinch if someone flirts with me...but when I get in a car to drive somewhere, or my fingers get typing, other stuff comes out of me.
The subconscious is a strange country - I'm looking forward to the day when my temporary visa expires and I go back to being shallow and uncomplicated all over again.